I Don't Know, But While I Think
by Evertide
Summary: Wisdom and experience aren't free. How I would have ended the tame collar/Zistopia story that could have been. [Zistopia's Honey Badger has a short appearance too.]
1. Chapter 1

I Don't Know, But While I Think  
Part 1  
Wisdom and experience aren't free. How I would have ended the tame collar/Zistopia story that could have been.

So Zootopia, right? Right. Part of me knows I don't really understand all the subtleties of the story and its message that seem so clear to everyone who's not me, and if I don't now then I probably never will, but it's still a great movie for many reasons. I think maybe I like the characters and the setting more than the story. Funny thing is, while I'm totally on board with the Judy/Nick ship, I really like how the movie ends with them: Still plenty of potential without forcing anything, and those are some of the best endings.

But sometimes I just get tired of things working out and everything being fine. Sometimes I just want to say, "Screw that!" and look at a setting where everyone stopped denying anything was wrong (but that doesn't mean things suck forever). Sometimes I want to be a little dark. Or maybe it's just that sometimes I felt like being one of those douchebags who can't just shut up and be happy, not even when he ruins things for others. Whatever.

You don't need to tell me the reasons why it's better the collars aren't in the final product, I've heard them and you can rest assured I agree you're probably right. That doesn't mean we can't still indulge in it, when we want to. While there would have been a lot of finishing work to be done to make the Zistopia setting usable and plausible, and it more than likely is for the best that it was abandoned, no sense letting that potential go to waste. That's where this story came from: I had my own ideas for how I would have ended the movie as I knew it could have been. Ironically, writing this probably made me a lot happier than I would have been if I had just let the idea die.

* * *

Ugh. Mornings.

Nick's thoughts were still a run-together string of mumbles as he sat on the edge of his bed, brushing his tail. Getting up early on a weekend already sucked, even if it was by choice, but he didn't need a lack of sleep from a nocturnal predator protest the night before complicating things. Yeah, how about that, a fox who used to run a predator amusement park complaining about losing sleep because of protests for a better life for him and the predators he used to help.

Old habits died hard, and cynicism was one of his. Then again, he always had his own ways of handling his problems, and being noticed wasn't part of them, so maybe it was a habit, or maybe it was a coping mechanism.

Anyway, that was a bushy enough tail. Time to go take care of business, or rather, see how business was being taken care of. Standing in front of the mirror, he examined what he saw. Same as usual: Green shirt, tan pants, blue necktie with pink stripes...

Collar...

Nick was finally able to think in words as he told his reflection the same thing he'd told himself every morning the last...what was the date...something like two hundred mornings: "Never forget, you didn't choose to put it on first, but you chose to put it back on."

His paws in his pockets, he headed outside, his gaze drifting towards where Wild Times used to be. It didn't matter if someone caught him staring; if they raided the place again, there really was nothing to find this time. Not there, anyway.

Once the building was out of sight, he tiredly stared straight ahead as he walked down the streets, occasionally zigzagging through memorized alleyways or parking decks to stay out of sight as much as possible. Hm...so far, didn't seem like anyone was following him. Good.

He slowed to a stop as he reached a newsstand, glancing over the headlines. Some weren't encouraging at all: "Barns and No-Bull Books protest clashes with police." Was that the one from last night? Whatever. Others were only a little better: "Downtown Preyda Store desegregating: To sort by size only." Yeah, like there were a lot of prey around who could afford to shop there, let alone predators. Still...under all the apathy that had kept him going in its own twisted way, he couldn't ignore the hope that had moved into his heart. Hope she, of all people, gave him.

He turned to get back on his way as he wondered, _"I wonder what you'd think about this, Carrots?"_

It had been six months since he could ask her himself, or since he had seen her, or since...anyone else had seen Judy Hopps. For a couple months since their return to Zootopia and thwarting the plot against Gazelle, he'd seen her around, on better terms. She'd lightened up a little, but he never forgot she was a cop and he was a predator. Over time, though, he noticed she was more and more distracted, like something that she wouldn't talk about was eating at her.

Then, six months ago, she disappeared without a trace.

Nothing in the papers of where she'd gone. No word on the street of what might have happened. At first he wondered if all they'd gone through had caught up to her and she took some time off; he could never believe she would just quit, not Officer Fluff. When she didn't come back, he got curious enough to ask her family about her. What did they tell him?

"Don't you know?"

They didn't know either. They said that all she told them was that she had to go on a long trip. She didn't know exactly where she was going, or when she'd be back, or if she'd be back, but there was something she had to know, and the only way she did was if she saw it for herself.

So...that was weird.

A little after that, word started getting around that she had, indeed, quit the force, emptied her apartment, and was just gone. Wow...did he really do that much of a number on her?

Wherever she'd gone, Nick still had a life to carry on, even if it was more boring without her, and the first stop of the day was coming up. Making another quick check for someone following him, he rounded the corner and...yep, there she was on a bench, hidden behind a newspaper.

Approaching the bench, he took a seat next to the heavyset woman, and she asked him, "Do you know what the worst kind of mammal is?"

A little grin crossed his muzzle as he asked back, "Do I really have to tell you?" He hadn't forgotten the call sign; he just wanted to see how she'd react this time, and when she reached into her vest and drew out a pair of scissors, he felt a little disappointed. He hoped to see that wool-stripping glove she'd been talking about.

"Are you asking for a trim?" she asked, twitching slightly.

"All right all right, a sheep in wolf's clothing," he answered.

She put the scissors away, letting out a quiet growl. "You're lucky I trust you enough to give you two chances to answer," she grumbled, lowering the newspaper enough for them to see eye to eye.

"Good morning to you too, Honeybun," he remarked with a yawn.

"Just hurry up, I'm exposed out here." The badger was already looking around, but not too obviously, but also not looking like she was too complacent. At least that was how she'd describe herself, he knew.

 _"It's this or you're on a corner handing out- excuse me, throwing out doomsday conspiracy pamphlets where everyone for entire blocks can hear you,"_ Nick countered in his head. "Okay, just relax," he said, knowing that was more of a dry joke than a suggestion, "and give me the weekly rundown."

"Fine. Things are going all right at Wild Times: Under New Management. So far everyone's followed the 'no starting Predator Rights Movement protest marches from here' rule. Heheh, but some of the felines are drumming up cash for opening some fun for," she licked her lips, "grown ups. Y'know what they wanna call it?"

Nick took a second to think of a sarcastic enough answer, coming up with, "The Scratching Post?"

Honey's eyes widened. "Have you been spying on me?!" she demanded.

His smile faded as he asked, "I was right?" He groaned. "Ugh...that moment when sarcasm comes true...maybe it's just as well I don't come by..."

She didn't seem to notice his dulled spirits, just looking relaxed she wasn't losing her touch. "Yeah, sure, if you say so. I wish you'd find another go-between, though."

"Aw, don't cut me off, Honeybun," he muttered. "Come on, working security there isn't that bad a job. You're the least likely to talk if you got brought in."

"Hah, the cops know not to mess with Honey Madge Badger, cause they know I know they're part of the conspiracy!" she bragged.

"Of course they do," Nick agreed. "So how about-"

"Mmph!" she grunted, covering her muzzle. "They're watching me! I said too much!"

"But they know you know-"

"I gotta get outta here!" She hopped off the bench and ran a few steps before skidding to a halt. "Oh yeah, I forgot, someone's looking for you."

He arched an eyebrow. "What kinda someone?"

"Some hybrid lady."

A what? His eyebrow rose more. "Keep going."

"I dunno, some...fennec hybrid. She just came up to me on the street the other day, said she wanted to talk to Nick Wilde alone." She looked back at him, shrugging. "I don't think she's a cop, I don't smell wool on her...but something's off about her anyway."

That was a good sign. Honey may have been crazy as well as paranoid, but she had as good a nose for the fuzz as he did, wool thing aside. "So where is she?"

"Uhh, she said she'd be waiting for you this afternoon by the bridge by the old factory, northeast Downtown." Before Nick could ask anything else, she turned and started running again, calling to him, "Gotta go, and don't forget: How can we save the world?"

"By shaving the world," Nick called back, getting an approving thumb-up from her as she ran off.

Huh...this day got more interesting all of a sudden. Didn't see a lot of hybrids, not even in Zootopia, and this one wanted to talk to him privately. What for, he could only guess...probably either to meet the Nick "Wild Times" Wilde who'd been in the papers when he got busted, or to try to rope him into joining the Predator Rights Movement, if past experience was anything to go by.

Smirking, he stood up to go back on his way as he made a mental note to find out.

* * *

Noon rolled around, and Nick headed to the promised meeting place. A morning of building anticipation had left him a little high strung by now, but no sense getting excited if nothing important ended up happening. Not that getting excited was really an option, of course, as the weight on his neck constantly reminded him.

Almost there...and his pace slowed when he rounded a corner and saw that there was, indeed, someone standing on the bridge next to what used to be a busy factory until a couple decades ago.

From this far away, if this was who he was meeting, he couldn't tell much about her. She was a smaller mammal, the top of her head a little below his shoulders. She was leaning against the railing and was only half facing him, so he couldn't see more than a short-for-her-size, sandy-furred muzzle, while the fur on her footpaws was closer to light gray. That was all he could tell from here: She looked like she didn't want to be noticed or identified, if her paws stuffed in her jeans pockets and the dark sunglasses and drawn-up hoodie she wore were any indication.

It didn't look like she knew he was here, so he took the time to look around again for followers. Seemed they were alone...hopefully it would stay that way.

 _"Well, time to meet who I hope is a secret admirer."_

Nick put a neutral face on as he approached the other mammal. Letting his footpaws scrape the ground more than usual, he saw her turn her head his way. Now that she noticed him, he gave her a nod as he kept walking.

"Are you my 12:00 appointment?" he asked dryly.

She shrugged a little, answering with, "Depends. Who're you?" Her voice sounded female; another encouraging sign.

"I was told by a friend that I had someone waiting for me. A mysterious stranger, which could either be the start of a new chapter or a waste of time," he said, now standing beside her.

The hybrid turned to face him, paws still in her pockets as she looked up at him. Now he could see she was wearing a collar, too. "Just as pessimistic as they say," she remarked.

"You're not giving me any reason to be hopeful," he said, dry as before.

"...Hmph," she huffed. "Then let's get to it. I can already tell you're the Nick Wilde people talk about. I'm Jenny."

"Jenny...?" he trailed off, asking for a last name.

"That's it. You need to have a family to have a family name," she said. "Not a lot of people want a fennec fox/bobcat hybrid, and whether my parents did or not, they didn't keep me. Left me at an orphanage with just a note saying what I was."

He nodded slowly. He was starting to see what Honey was talking about: Something about her wasn't right, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Not yet, anyway, but the more she talked... "Are you, now?" His gaze drifted to the bulges under her hood. "That's not something you see every day. So how about taking the hood off and giving me a better look?"

She cocked her head. "Why, what're you worried about?"

"I'm either being curious or being smart. I have bigger things to worry about than you really being a hybrid or not, but if you are, what's to hide? It's just us preds here," he said with calm certainty.

Jenny paused, then must have seen she would need to let her guard down a little for this to continue. She pulled her hood back, letting him see her oversized pointy ears, covered in the same sand-colored fur as the rest of her head. "Well?"

Okay, that made her story a little more credible. "Nice. All right, you have my attention. What brings us here?" Nick asked, relaxing enough to lean on the railing.

"I need a job."

"Get in line."

"I mean, I want to work for you."

"Heh. I dunno what you heard, but I don't do that anymore." There was that suspicious feeling again, and not just because she was already asking incriminating questions.

Jenny shook her head. "I don't buy it. You put too much into that place to just give up like that."

"Yes I can. Kinda had to. Getting a pardon by the new mayor for exposing the old mayor and saving Zootopia's diva-of-the-now is pretty nice, but it makes people watch you," he looked away from her, towards the old buildings, "and I don't need to give them something to see."

She sighed, her ears drooping. "That's really disappointing. I heard Nick Wilde had more heart than he let on. More than that, anyway," she said softly.

"Oh yeah? Who told you that?"

"Word...gets around," she said evasively.

"Well, word was wrong." He kept a straight face, but he noticed the hesitation in her answer. "I have things to do, so really tell me, what do you want?"

"You might say," she lowered her voice, "I wanna have a Wild Time."

There, she just gave him a peek at her true intentions. Now that she was interested, he just had to leave out the bait to find out what her deal was. "I told you, I'm out of that business. Now I really am just a nobody who does whatever odd jobs he can find to get by," he insisted.

"You're not. Not Nick Wilde. Someone who runs a secret predator amusement park, escapes from prison, runs across the city and beyond from a cop with something to prove by catching him, and comes back willingly putting a collar on...is not a nobody," she said with a growl.

...Now this wasn't just weird, it was familiar, and he had an idea of how to call her out.

He gave her a nod, looking back at her. "I'll admit...that's a nicer thing to be told than I'm used to hearing," he said softly.

The fennecat smiled at him, just a bit, the first smile she'd given him so far. "So...maybe there's a job opening after all?" she asked.

He held up a paw. "This just became an interview, at least. But that means I ask the questions now." Pushing off the railing to stand upright, he turned to face her. "How long have you lived in Zootopia?"

"Never left."

"Where do you live?"

"With whatever friends I can make at any given time."

"And who's that now?"

"A mink couple who let me live with them in exchange for doing...whatever housework or errands they need done. Which is fine but having a steady income is good for your self-esteem, you know?"

"I do know." He drummed his fingers on his leg as he looked away in thought. "So far, so good. I only got a couple more questions, actually."

"Yeah?" Jenny asked, her smile widening a bit.

He smiled back. "Question one: If I told you where to go and who to talk to, you get the idea that if you're caught and you talk, it won't just be the cops who want a piece of you?" he said very matter-of-factly.

"...Uh, you mean predators who'd be ticked their park is gone again?" she asked hopefully.

Nick stared at her for a few seconds to let the weight sink in, and when her ears drooped a little, he replied, "You could say that. That wouldn't be the whole story, but you can say it."

She answered with a nod and, "I understand."

He nodded back. "Last question," he began, taking his turn to smile a little wider when she perked back up.

"Yeah?"

"Where's Judy?"

"She's- what?"

His smile was instantly gone as he leaned forward, looking expectantly into her sunglasses-hidden eyes. "Yeah. 'She's what?' Or where?" he asked.

"Judy...H-Hopps?" the fennecat stuttered.

"The one. You know, rabbit, gray fur, maybe 27 years old, about your height," he explained, seeing the hybrid's ears droop again even though he couldn't see her eyes.

"How would I know? Nobody does," she insisted with fading confidence.

He cocked his head to emphasize a raised eyebrow. "Then where'd you hear that, and don't 'hear what' me: The thing you said about not being a nobody. That was a very specific choice of words. Did someone tell you to say that?" He mentally added, _"Word for word, that was something she said the last time we met, in fact."_

Jenny took a nervous step back, holding her paws up. "Look, I don't know anything about Judy Hopps, okay? She could be in the city, she could have gone home to start a family, she could be on another planet for all I know."

"No, I'm not buying it. Me and Honey, we're good at spotting the police, it's as much an instinct as it is a science. But even though you can't be one, something about you," he stepped closer as she stepped away again, "is setting off this warning bell in my head. Like you aren't a cop, but maybe...you work for one?"

"But I don't-"

"Or maybe," he interrupted, "I'm right and that's a pretty good costume, hmm?" He looked back and forth between her ears.

She must have gotten the hint as she raised her paws to her ears and tugged on them hard enough for him to see the skin under her fur move. "Rrf, see?! Does that look fake to you?"

Nick shrugged. "Okay, so you probably are a fennecat. I still don't know what's up with you, but I can tell you're hiding something. That's fine. I like keeping secrets, too." Before she could answer, he turned around. "Thanks for the interview, but we're not hiring now."

"Wait!"

He started walking away. "We'll consider you if there's an opening. You tell me a secret, I'll tell you one," he said as he kept walking.

After a short silence, he heard her sigh. Whatever. That didn't even give him any satisfaction.

"You know..." she began.

 _"Don't care."_

"You really are a smart fox."

That voice made him stop mid-step. He set his foot back on the ground and turned back to face her. She hadn't moved, other than to turn away.

"Say that again...?" he asked.

At first, she didn't answer, just reaching up to her face. "Smart fox."

His eyes widened as she turned around and took her sunglasses off. "You..."

"Dumb bunny."

Yep. Between his gut instinct, his brain, her voice, and now those purple eyes...

"Carrots?"

* * *

 **A/N Continued**

I'd also just like to say, it really bugs me how it's spelled "Zistopia." I don't want to use that because you don't spell it "distopia" so why do it now? Sigh.

Written by me.  
Zootopia and its characters (c) Disney.  
Thanks to my friend Flyingwolf for his services as my creative consultant and test audience.  
Thanks also to the many sources on the Internet for material on the Zistopia setting.  
The story's title is taken from a line from the movie "Ben 10: Secret of the Omnitrix".  
"Barns and No-Bull Books" and "Preyda" reference Barnes and Noble Books and Prada, which are also (c) themselves.  
Thumbnail by Dash aka kirbygod on DA and was commissioned for this story by me and is used with permission.

This story's copyright policy: "Sharing is caring." Do what you like with this story, not like I can do anything to stop you, in fact I'd be flattered you'd want to share it or save it so you can read it whenever you want. All I ask is that you link back to the original source. A version that can be copied is on my DA page (I'm Evertide there too).


	2. Chapter 2

I Don't Know, But While I Think  
Part 2  
Wisdom and experience aren't free. How I would have ended the tame collar/Zistopia story that could have been.

* * *

She held her arms out in a half-hearted "tadaaa" gesture. "I still can't get you to call me by name, but...the one," she said, sounding defeated.

Nick slowly approached her, not sure if he could believe he was seeing her again, that she actually fooled him at first, that she even tried to fool him at all...okay, start with that last one. "What...why this?" he asked.

Resting her sunglasses on her forehead, Judy slid her paws back into her pockets and answered, "Like I said, I'm looking for a job and a Wild Time."

He wasn't in the mood for playing around anymore. "Don't gimme that crap. Now, really...what's this about, you disappear from the world for months, now the first time I see you again you're pretending to be someone else?" He looked around again to make sure they were still alone, then added, "What kinda scheme are the cops putting you up to?"

She shook her head, saying, "No cops. I cut ties with them six months ago, too."

He squinted as he examined her. So far, this whole talk, he got the idea that she was hiding something. Like always: She was smart and a good planner, but lying wasn't her strength. "Then since I've seen through your little...game, why don't you just take off the costume and shoot straight with me?"

She shook her head again. "I can't," she said simply.

"Oh relax, I'd let you change in a closet or something so you can put your clothes back on," he sighed.

"I mean, I can't take this off because it's not a costume," she explained.

"What're you talking about?"

She leaned forward, twitching her ears. "Feel 'em." When he just looked at her with an expression between frustration and confusion, she twitched them again. "Go on. Do what you want for me to prove it."

Hesitantly, he reached for one and took it between his fingers. It did feel real enough from a casual inspection. When he tickled her inner ear fur, he felt her muscles trying to twitch it away, and when he tugged on it, it didn't feel like it was covering anything. Still, this was too hard to believe.

But there was one last test.

"Sorry," he apologized in advance.

"For what- rrgh!" she grunted as he pinched her.

He noticed the light on her collar had changed to yellow as he kept up the pressure. Apologizing again in his head, he said, "If you're serious, you can do this back to me when I'm done."

"B-Be careful, those are sensit- ow!" Now he added his claws. "Okayokayokay, isn't that enough?!"

...Aaand red.

He let go just as Judy let out a pained yip as her collar - which he was now sure was the genuine article - did its thing. She held her ear and caught her breath as she made herself calm down. Nick, meanwhile, looked at his fingers. At first, he thought that activating her collar and drawing blood would convince him this wasn't a disguise...but he felt oddly relieved to see his claws were clean.

 _"I guess you did more to me than I thought,"_ he supposed. "All right. You've convinced me," he told the rabbit...fennecat...whatever she was. "Your turn."

He expected her to hop up and yank his ears for that, or sock him in the gut, or just give him a good old-fashioned boot to the pills even if it activated her collar again, and he was ready to be true to his word. But no, she just stood there, slowing her breathing as her light went from red to yellow, and after closing her eyes, it went back to green.

"...Well?" he asked, leaning down and turning his head to present an ear to her. "Go ahead."

"I don't want to," she said. "I told you to do what you want...and I'm taking that as a learning experience."

"...Oookaaay." He straightened up as she looked at him again. "So...this," he gestured up and down her body, "this is...what, what's this?"

"This," she spread her arms, "is me. The new me, whoever that is; I see I still have a lot to work out."

He tried to think of something clever, or tactfully belittling, to say, but...nothing. So he went with the simple request of, "All right. Spit it out. Everything."

She looked away, one of her footpaws tapping in thought, and said, "Like I told you. This is me now. Judy Hopps, the world's only rabbit cop, is gone and might never be coming back."

"I know that," he said firmly. "Your family told me that. Just..." He rubbed his temple and sighed. "Okay, first question. The ears, the fur, the...what, how, why?"

"Surgery. Species change. The ears took some major reworking," she said, swiveling them for emphasis, "with a few minor touch-ups. The fur?" She ran her paws over her face. "Dyed."

That was the first thing Nick had heard in a long time that left him completely at a loss.

"And these?" She bared her decidedly not-rabbit teeth. "These hurt more than the ears. Most of my teeth were taken out; these are dentures, and if you believe what I said before, please don't ask me to prove this because without the adhesive, it's hard to stick them back in."

Now he was even more at a loss.

Judy must have noticed, as she went on, "How could I afford it? I couldn't, but this wasn't all my idea. We have a...well, I don't know about a friend, but she's really interested in us. In equality. In...knowing someone who can see things from both sides when she can't. In repaying a favor." She waited to see if he got the message.

At first, he was still trying to process the last revelation before getting to this one, and when he still didn't answer, Judy set her paws on her hips and shook them back and forth a single time. That made him shake his head to come to his senses. "Gazelle? Really?"

"Really."

"Whyyy? Wait...actually, yeah, why?" he asked, figuring it was too late to hide how confused he was.

"That's kind of a story...or two," she began before leaning back against the bridge's railing. "It started for both of us a couple months ago. You know Gazelle was already opposed to collar laws, one of the few Zootopian preys who's so outspoken about it. When you and I saved her, when we showed that predators and prey really can work together as equals, it got something rolling and she wants to keep it up."

He nodded. "'Something' is right. Rallies, marches, stores opening to preds..." he trailed off before chuckling, "heh, and did you hear they even want to make it a law, that places can't ban preds as long as they're collared?" He chuckled again, "They're missing the point: When prey see us, the first thing they want to know is if we're under control. This," he tilted his head and tapped his collar, "is what gives them nothing to fear, not going out and learning for themselves we're just mammals, like them."

"You're the one missing the point," Judy corrected. "If uncollaring ever happens, it won't be today or tomorrow. You have to work your way to it. Actually getting both sides to spend time with each other is a start. We can figure out where to go from there."

"Hold on," he held up a paw, "who said you get to 'pick' a side?"

Her formerly neutral expression turned to a scowl. "Did you forget everything we did eight months ago? When we dragged each other all over the place, when you convinced me to try trusting you, when you changed my mind?" she asked firmly.

Nick hadn't forgotten, not at all, but that set her up nicely to answer a question he really wanted an answer to. "So what does that make you now? Gazelle's undercover prey? What happened, even, she came to you and asked if you wanted to have your body changed to do it, and you did it, just like that?"

With a sigh, her lowered brow lifted and she looked at the ground. "That's...the longer story. I'm not just doing this for her. I'm doing it for myself, too."

"Please, just spit it out. Just...tell me what you're doing and why," he asked tiredly.

"Then let me start by telling you this," she said. "One of the things I came here hoping to do was tease out an answer to a question I kept asking you. I thought maybe you wouldn't tell Judy Hopps for some reason, but maybe if you got to know another predator, you might someday answer this: Why did you come back?"

He raised a paw to his face, rubbing his eyes. "This again? I keep telling you, I don't know, but I just felt like I had to."

"No kidding! I don't know why you did, either!" she spat out before calming back down. "For the first couple months after we came back, we both saw changes happening...the start of what's going on now, really. Eight months ago, the Predator Rights Movement would've just been one more thing to make my life harder. But when I'd be sent to keep the peace where they were doing something, I noticed more and more that I'd changed. That I wondered if maybe, despite being a cop, I was on the wrong side of the law," she turned her head to look away from him, "because the law was wrong, not them."

"...Yeah?" Nick asked, not wanting to assume where she was going with this but understanding she was trusting him with one of her secrets.

"Every time I thought about it, I never had a firm answer. But what I kept coming back to was that day when you changed my mind." She pushed off the railing to stand upright, turning to look up at him. "Nick, even before now, I had an idea of what it was like to be a predator around here. I also got the idea a while ago that you weren't like other predators. But do you know what it's like to be a rabbit like me?"

He figured it could be a lot worse, but he supposed he should go along with it. "Nope."

"Let me start by telling you what bunnies are in the big picture," she began. "Bunnies are the nobodies of the world. We're replaceable, is what we are, which is no wonder because we're so good at making more bunnies. I told you, I have almost two hundred-fifty siblings. That's just from one husband-and-wife pair. There's not a lot of room for individuality there, so when we grow up, we just stay out of everyone's way."

That made sense, and now he was getting an idea of what she was building up to. "And then there's you," he offered.

She nodded. "Me, the outlier. My own parents forgot my name sometimes, and that's normal...it took until I started spending a lot of time with other mammals for me to feel like that should be different. I didn't have anyone cheering me on when I wanted to be a cop. I didn't have friends when I joined the force. Sure, some mammals acted nicer than others, but I could see through them. I was a novelty or a tool, but first and foremost, I was a bunny." She held up a clenched paw, going on, more firmly, "But I was determined to be someone and do/ something. I took whatever cases I had to to keep my job." She paused, then pointed at him. "Then there was you."

"Uh huh?"

"A prison escapee. I'm still not sure if bringing you back would've been my ticket to some recognition, or if you were just another predator causing trouble. But what I did know was that you were part of the problem, a problem that I was going to do my part in solving." Judy's paw clenched tighter as she said, "You were clever, but I was determined, I was right," punching her open palm to make her point clear.

Not that he needed a reminder of what she was like when she had a goal. He just nodded and let her continue, noticing her collar light was yellow again.

She held that pose for a bit before she relaxed. "Then...it didn't happen. It got to the point where all I had to do to finish it was...nothing, and you'd be taken in and be out of my life. But it felt wrong in a way I wouldn't admit-"

"Ahem, Carrots," he cut in, "we both know all this already. Could you...move this along a little, please?"

Rolling her eyes, she explained, "My point is, that was the first time I wondered if I was wrong. So I bailed you out, hid you at my family's home, and gave you what I thought you wanted," she stood on her tiptoes to better stare into his eyes, "the freedom to be yourself."

Nick still wasn't hearing anything he didn't expect, but even he had to stay quiet when he thought back on that moment, when he got something he'd given up on. That indescribable relief...

"But..."

And of course, Judy had to break him out of that happy memory.

"Then...you made a choice I couldn't believe," she sighed. "You chose to go back to Zootopia, because you knew something was wrong and you didn't want to leave it unfixed."

He gave her a quiet "hmph," adding, "I ask again, where is this going?"

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temple at being cut off again, finally getting to the point. "When it was all done, it took a while for me to figure it out, but you didn't just make me wonder if I was wrong about you. You made me wonder if everyone's been wrong about predators, period," she gripped a pawful of her own fur, her eyes shutting even tighter, "and that thought, that self-doubt, won't go away and it's been driving me crazy."

This talk had been going on for a good while now, and she was still surprising Nick with how...surreal it all was. "So what happened? It finally drove you to do...this?" he asked.

"Sort of. I don't know about you, but I'd been keeping an eye on Gazelle. Turned out she was interested in me, too." She looked back up at him as she continued, "See, a little before I left the force, during a patrol, I responded to a disturbance call in Downtown. I showed up in time to catch the tail end of a fistfight between a couple of camels and a timber wolf. Of course it got into the 'he started it, no he started it' crap, and of course there was alcohol involved in all three of them. I had the wolf taken back to the station and told the camels to sit down and stay put while we waited for another car." She set her paws on her hips and tapped her foot again as she said, "When I got the cuffs from my own car just in case, they asked why, and I had to explain that nobody was under arrest yet but we needed to question everyone and the car was for them to get taken in too. Then things started escalating."

She didn't have to explain for Nick to figure it out...though he made a mental note that he'd have to talk to her later about this foot-tapping thing; bunny habits might not suit a fennecat.

"By the time the other car showed up, one of them was going on about who his parents were and how they'd hear about this...and when I picked up the cuffs and warned him resisting would make it worse," she started miming the actions she was describing, "he tried to grab me, I nailed him behind the knees, cuffed one wrist, and-"

Red.

"Gzzk!" she hissed.

"Gonna have to watch that," Nick commented dryly despite feeling a little guilty about not warning her.

Judy growled quietly as she calmed down once more. Letting out a deep breath, she summed up, "I told him he was now under arrest for assaulting an officer, brought him and his friend in, and it was nothing but stress after that, with the stink his parents raised. That was when it was so clear to me that the system that keeps preds down and prey on top isn't right, and I finally hit the point where I knew I didn't know what I was doing."

Nick wasn't sure how much of this he believed. It was nice to think that Judy'd had a change of heart, but optimism was something he wasn't used to feeling. But he had to give her credit: Unlikely though it was, she was the one who reminded him of what it was like. "And how does that bring us to now?" he asked.

"Word got around of what I'd done, and as socially connected as Gazelle is, it reached her ears before long. She invited me to her place and said she was impressed. It..." she rolled her eyes, "it kind of went on from there. Gazelle's pretty much the same in private as she is in public: Unrealistic, idealistic, and has this...she calls it," she raised a paw as if addressing a crowd and inviting them to come and listen, "'a vision of this sad chapter of Zootopia's history ending so that a better one can begin.'"

He smiled, nodding. "I'm not sure if I'm glad or not that she believes everything she's saying."

She matched his smile and nod. "She wants to meet you again, too. You could see for yourself then," she agreed before she gave him a serious look again. "Anyway, after her spiel, she told me that she's always interested in knowing what's going on from the predator perspective. But she can't always find out what she wants to know, especially when it comes to things they might not want an outspoken socialite like her to know," she said with a wink.

"And this...was her answer?" he asked, pointing at her.

"Mm hm. She said she could see how resourceful I was, and she wanted me to help turn Zootopia around. The deal was, she'd have me changed to this," she pointed at herself, "and help me start a new life as a predator. It's a paid job, but I can't go around looking like it. I'm not in it for the money, anyway; I donate what I don't need. Getting paid to do this kind of defeats the purpose."

"Then what is the purpose?" He was getting really eager to get to the ultimate point of this.

"The main things she gets out of this?" Judy held up a paw and uncurled its digits to count, "One, not everything she does, she wants publicized yet, so she has someone who can do it behind the scenes, and who can tell her about things going on behind the scenes. Two, like I said, she fancies herself a visionary, and she'd love it if the history books say, 'This happened because predators and prey alike thought things could be better,' so having a prey who chose to become a predator strokes her ego, even if she doesn't know it. Three, she wanted me to do it because she knows this is risky and she thinks I have what it takes to see it through."

"Pff," Nick sighed. "Well, is she right? Did Judy Hopps's conscience do such a number on her that she couldn't look at herself anymore?"

Judy looked away, quirking her lips. "Not...exactly. Like I said, when I gave you freedom and you didn't lash out at everyone, and then you chose to come back and stay here, you made me doubt a lot of things, first and foremost being myself." She frowned up at him as she explained, "I can't stand doubting myself. I never could. If I'm not good enough, I put in the work to get better. But for the first time, I didn't know what to do, or even how I was wrong. It just kept building until six months ago, when I tried enforcing the law on predators and prey equally."

"All right. So, now what do you want? To be an undercover hero to the downtrodden like me?" he groaned with a sarcastic smile. "Because if so, you can keep your fake morality to yourself."

"Of course not. I may be disguised, but there's nothing fake about my morality."

 _"Good, because if you're gonna do this, you'd better be more in the moment than Gazelle is,"_ he thought.

She slowly paced back and forth as she said, "This is how I make up my mind: By seeing for myself what it's like to be a predator and living as one. I know I'm not, really: Inside, I'm still a bunny, but this is as good as it's gonna get, and I really am willing to give up what I had and put this much on the line if this is what it takes."

He hummed in thought before he answered with, "I have to admit, Fluff, I'm-"

"And you might want to find something else to call me," she interrupted as she continued pacing.

"Aw, I thought we had something," he teased, "but if you wanna keep it a secret, I already have a new nickname for you," his voice took on a slight but sharp edge as he called her, "Mongrel."

She didn't flinch, but he did see her pace slow for a moment. Good. It wasn't that he liked seeing her get hurt, but despite being born a bunny, she understood the weight behind that word...and if she really wanted to do this, he'd honor her wishes. Besides, she'd probably heard it a number of times by now.

"So like I was saying, I'm honestly impressed you'd go this far. You're really willing to give up what you had...for this," he pointed at her, "and yet, I'm having a hard time swallowing this. I actually find it more believable that you aren't doing this out of some misplaced guilt, but what would help more is if you tell me why you're doing this, what you get out of it."

"Heh," she chuckled, sounding defeated. "Like I said: Smart fox. All right. Well it's sure not for Gazelle's sake, and it's not like I plan to tell her everything. It's because...I'll be honest." She looked up at him, narrowing her eyes as she stopped pacing. "I've been a cop long enough to know there's some things that can't ever be apologized for, and the collar laws have to be some of them. Even if there's mountains of evidence that the collars make everything worse, not better, and even if it's all the preys' fault, do you think they're just going to uncollar everyone and hope there's no hard feelings? No...they'll want to keep the collars for the same reason they put them on in the first place: Fear, even though they're the ones who made the monsters. That's something else I need to study myself."

He gave her a sad nod. "Yeah. Preds and prey aren't going to be singing in perfect harmony around here anytime soon. Or maybe within our lifetimes. Or maybe..."

"Ever."

"Yep." Despite the gloomy direction this talk had gone, the weird thing was, he was kind of glad to know she had a similar outlook, being able to see the whole situation and having a goal but going about achieving it in a way others wouldn't approve of. Still, he didn't want to meet Judy again just so they could spend their time sulking. "But you know..."

"What?"

"Even though...yeah, there's some things you can't ever apologize for...that doesn't mean they can't be forgiven anyway," he offered.

She cocked her head slightly. "What do you mean?"

"I never apologized to you for anything, and you never apologized to me either. Neither of us ever even asked. But we got over our differences so we could both work to a goal, one that left both of us better off," he said with an inquiring grin.

She wagged a finger at him warningly. "I told you before, don't misunderstand things. Even after you were pardoned, I never forgot you were once a criminal on the run. Even when I was questioning what the right thing to do was, busting you for something was never off the table."

His posture slumped as he sighed, "Oh."

"But...what you did was convince me that being good or bad isn't a matter of species. It isn't a matter of predator or prey either. It's a matter of the individual. Predators and prey alike are all just mammals, with all the ups and downs that come with it." She smiled at him. "Even after everything that's happened, I still don't know if uncollaring preds is the right thing to do. But while I think about it, I'd better make an informed decision, and that means doing the research."

"Heheh...and so that's why you're coming to me, looking for a job?" he asked, shaking his head. "Sorry, Mutt, but I don't do that anymore. Gonna have to find someone else."

"If you don't, then you must know who I do talk to. But either way, you can still help me."

"By?"

"You help me, I help you. A lot of the last six months were spent getting me gradually changed to a fennecat and getting me trained and set up. I've only been out living this new life for a few weeks," she shrugged, "but I see I've got work to do if I couldn't fool you, and now that I've started, I can't turn back." She set a paw on her hip and pointed at him. "Maybe I need a better teacher."

He blinked, his eyes widening slightly. "Are you...asking me...to teach you how to hustle?" he asked. Wow...it might not have been how she wanted it, but she was throwing him for a loop this whole talk.

Judy's smile widened a bit. "If that's what you want to call it. I don't want to lie and cheat and steal. I just need to lie better. For a good cause, of course."

It took a moment for him to gather his thoughts again, and he looked up at the sky, crossing his arms. "I don't know what kind of training you got for this, but I don't think you really know what you got yourself into. I can almost promise you, nobody will be as understanding as I am if they find you out," he drummed his fingers on an arm, "and I have my...doubts about this."

"That's just it, though. Even if you doubt what I'm doing, you understand, and that's why I want it to be you who teaches me, because despite our differences, we have things in common. We changed each other." She held out her paws to him. "You," she rested her paws on her chest, "are like me."

Again, he wasn't sure about that...but she did have a point. "We're both outliers in a world that doesn't like exceptions to the rules?" he offered.

"And I'd like to think you, too, have a more birds-eye view of things, that you have the idea that it's not about predators and prey: It's about mammals as a whole, and other mammals can change, like we did," she added. "So...what do you say?"

Nick looked down at her with a poker face as he weighed his answer. If anyone could pull this off, it was probably her, but if he helped her and she wasn't up to the challenge, he'd be up to his neck in trouble, too. It wasn't like he was guaranteed to get anything out of this, either. Then again, while he didn't miss the trouble she'd gotten him into, he had admitted to himself earlier that day that he kind of missed talking to her.

When he didn't answer, she looked around again and reached into her pocket. "I thought so, but maybe this'll help," she said as she pulled out a few folded-up bills and offered them to him. "I didn't mean to imply I was asking you to do it for free." She raised an eyebrow and grinned as his eyes stayed on her paw. "Like they say, 'When you see a situation you don't understand, try looking from a financial angle.'"

Yep, some steady income would tip the risk-reward scale in her favor. Not that she needed to know that. "And what kind of rates are we talking?" he asked.

"Hmhm, someone's interested," she teased, reaching further out to him. "Should I take that as a 'yes?'"

 _"Not until I remind you of your place."_ He shook his head. "You forget who you're talking to. Good rule to keep in mind: Always assume someone might know what you're doing. You don't want to be seen offering me money out here in broad daylight," he held back a smile as her ears swiveled down and she looked behind her, "and mammals know who I am now...and a lot of them don't like me."

"Y-Yeah," she muttered as she stuffed her paw back in her pocket.

"So consider that your free sample. Any further lessons have an hourly rate," he said flatly.

She nodded, then her ears perked up as she looked back at him. "You mean-"

"First thing we need to do is get that excitement of yours under control. Maybe that's a bunny thing, but that was twice you got zapped in one conversation. That's a little weird for a predator your age who's lived in Zootopia all her life," he explained.

She smiled widely. "You'll do it?" she asked.

"After we negotiate a price," he said. "While we're at it, maybe we should also work on your backstory. The orphanage thing is a good start, at least; not a lot of people would want a hybrid kit. Might wanna change your name too, if we can; 'Judy' and 'Jenny' are too similar."

Judy nodded happily. "Oh, I'm sure we can come to an agreement."

He smiled back. Not sarcastically or mockingly this time, but feeling honestly glad to have something to look forward to. "So follow me."

She nodded again, then pointed up at his face. "You know, when you smile...I mean, actually smile...you have a good smile."

Nick's smile turned back into a sarcastic grin as he warned her, "Enjoy it while it lasts; you aren't going to see it often."

"Hah," she chuckled as she flicked her sunglasses back over her eyes, "then that's one thing we can work on, too, because I want to see it more often."

 _"I'd like to show it more often, too,"_ he thought as he waved for her to follow him.

With that, they headed to the street and to wherever else this latest turn of their lives took them.

* * *

 **A/N Continued**

Believe it or not, I didn't know that in the original Zistopia ending, Judy quits the force and shows up outside Wild Times in a fennec disguise (costume, that is) until I got to that point in this story. My friend Flyingwolf then told me I had accidentally written what they were going to do anyway. Won't lie, I almost abandoned the story then because what was the point of writing it if its creators had already done it? I think, or at least I hope, it was for the best that I went through with it.

Written by me.  
Zootopia and its characters (c) Disney.  
Thanks to Flyingwolf for his services as my creative consultant and test audience.  
Thanks also to the many sources on the Internet for material on the Zistopia setting.  
The story's title is taken from a line from the movie "Ben 10: Secret of the Omnitrix".  
The "when you see a situation you don't understand" line is based on a line from "A Thousand Words is Worth a Picture" by an artist whose signature I'm sorry but I can't read.  
The "always assume someone might know what you're doing" line is based on a line from "Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow".  
Thumbnail by Dash aka kirbygod on DA and was commissioned for this story by me and is used with permission.

This story's copyright policy: "Sharing is caring." Do what you like with this story, not like I can do anything to stop you, in fact I'd be flattered you'd want to share it or save it so you can read it whenever you want. All I ask is that you link back to the original source. A version that can be copied is on my DA page (I'm Evertide there too).


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